Written By: Epicstu Wyyvernwriter

Thor spun Bokstaveligfjelletpåenpinne around himself dragging it across the arena floor. New Valhalla’s self-regenerating arena had its floor back to normal before the mountain could complete each pass.  With all his might, Thor used his hammer’s momentum to lift himself into the air. On a bolt from the Lightning that follows his Thunder, Thor brought his hammer down, but there was no impact. Someone had caught it, and Thor found himself unable to take his hammer back. He laughed, “who would challenge the King of New Valhalla?”

“The smoke clears,” Woodsmann narrated. “The business end of Thor’s hammer is being held in one hand by… In his living form?”

“Folks, truly this is history unfolding before our eyes,” Mercedes took over. “ Woodsmann is literally speechless right now. I have never seen anyone catch Bokstaveligfjelletpåenpinne at the end of a fully powered lightning strike smackdown.”

“Tell me, what is it you seek to gain from this tournament?” asked the voice under Thor’s hammer.

“To prepare our Multiverse’s protectors, the Wyyvern Knights, for the threats to come,” Thor answered so all New Valhalla could hear him. The crowd cheered for the goodwill of the Gods. Then the dust cleared, and Thor could see Edward holding Bokstaveligfjelletpåenpinne in place with one paw-like hand. The Living God of all Gods and Goddesses Wicked dug his six-inch retractable claws deep into the stone of the Mountain. Thor laughed again as he tried to retrieve his hammer, “so it’s true.” He let go of his hammer.

Edward threw the thirty thousand foot tall mountain of a hammer clear out of the arena and began tossing it lightly in an idle as he examined it. So that only Thor could hear him, “They believe your lie. Now tell me the truth.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about,” Thor rebutted.

Edward crushed the unmineable ore to dust in his hand out of irritation, “you cannot lie to me.” The look on his face read disappointment. “You want her? You once belonged to her.” Thor could see the Underrealm in Edward’s eyes, “but then that was before you lied.”

“We only want to…” Thor was interrupted by Hells Damned screaming “Liar!” in his head. “Lies! Slander! And Deception!”

“Tell me the truth,” Edward demanded again, his voice louder than Thunder in Thor’s Mind.

“Forehead to forehead, the God of all God’s and Goddesses Wicked challenges the God of Thunder,” Woodsmann could hardly contain his excitement.

“Truly the tension could be cut with a knife,” Mercedes replied. “One can only speculate the words being exchanged here.”

“Fine,” Thor’s headbutted Edward with all the force of his Thunder and Edward. Thor shook his head, “We God’s once ruled over all. Then the Nekolich comes and kills us all off and turns us into Zombies. As if that wasn’t bad enough the one we created to stop him turned against us forcing us to work with that damned cat. This new Multiverse he has made deserves better than an Undead pussy. In this tournament, we shall take your weapons from you, and when we are the Wyyvern Knights, we will finally be able to defeat the Nekolich and restore ourselves to life.”

“I know,” Edward replied, “but you and I both know you will never stop there. You will destroy all that exists to begin anew.”

“So what?” Thor replied. “You will not stop us. The first event will give your weapons to us and then you all will die again and again to the Knights that you once were.”

Edward had kept the conversation private so no one else could hear it. No one except Zesrial, who had been telepathically listening in. “Alright.”

“Alright?” Thor questioned. “I just revealed that we seek to end all you swore to uphold and all you have to say about it is alright?”

“We, the Knights of Wyyvern, hereby accept your challenge,” Edward replied before headbutting Thor to his knees. He dragged the disoriented God of Thunder to a wall and propped him up against it before unloading punches that each shook New Valhalla to her core.

Thor spit out a tooth, “is that the best you can do?” He caught Edward’s next punch and retaliated, but he lost and held his hand in pain.

Edward spat the blood from his mouth, “I am going to enjoy this tournament,” he said with a smile and grabbed Thor’s bald head. “Just thought you should know what you are up against,” he held Thor up to the audience who cheered mercilessly at the violence. Thor could see in the eyes of the Wyyvern Knights in the audience that they knew. “I am not disappointed because you seek to take our family,” Edward referred to the Wyyvern Weapons. “No, the tournament is fair. I am disappointed because you lied.” He set Thor down, his upper jaw set upon an, ever so slightly, elevated stone slab and then sent him to the Meadhall. Anubis watched from the stands with a smile. He knew it was only Thor’s lie that had given Edward such impossible strength.

A sound louder than Thor’s own Thunder echoed throughout the arena, and the crowd fell silent. Then they cheered louder. “Ladies and Gentlemen,” said Woodsmann. “I cannot believe what I just saw.”

“Indeed,” Mercedes continued for Woodsmann. “Thor, King of New Valhalla and the Ancient God of Thunder has just been curb stomped straight to the Meadhall by Edward Michael Dimir!”

“This certainly is a change,” Woodsmann added. “Thor was the one curb stomping yesterday.”

Edward looked to Zesrial, and she nodded back. Then he turned his attention to the crowd, “How’s everyone doing tonight!” the crowd cheered loudly in response. “Are we having fun!” the crowd cheered louder. “I can’t hear you!” Edward put a paw to his ear to listen, and the crowd cheered even louder. With his own Willpower, he made it snow in New Valhalla.

“Such raw power,” Woodsmann commented. The stadium is caked in snow, and the fans seem to be loving this winter wonderland Edward has created.”

“Oh, how the tables turn,” Mercedes commented. “For those who are just now joining us, the Meadhall is where anyone who dies in New Valhalla goes.”

“All you can eat. Bottomless wine. Beautiful dancers. Yup,” Woodsmann. “I have to wait till I’m dead for this?”

Mercedes handed Woodsmann a handgun, and without hesitation, Woodsmann shot himself in the head. “Woods will be back right after a word from our sponsors.”