Written By: Epicstu Wyyvernwriter

“For the Right to be a Knight!” Woodsmann Hungasfu and Mercedes Bernard shouted excitedly in unison through the speaker system, “Welcome back to New Valhalla!”

“It is good to get back to the tournament at hand after such existence threatening interruptions,” Woodsmann announced from the Meadhall. “Would you not agree, Bernard?”

“Indeed, Woods, indeed,” Mercedes replied from the Announcer’s Box above the arena, “and to break the ice the next round is a 1v1 between Brek Chesler and Agni for the right to wield Pyre, the Wyyvern Gauntlets of Fire. However, that will not be the only round taking place right now. Woods, care to explain?”

“With pleasure,” Woodsmann replied. “I am here, Live, in the Meadhall to oversee a drinking contest between Dionysus and Jain Karma Heart for the right to wield Wapatui, the Wyyvern shape-shifting Glass of Drink.”

“The reasoning for these two events going on at once is simply a matter of impatience,” Mercedes explained.

“Right you are, Bernard,” Woodsmann interrupted. “It would seem that Dionysus and Agni are both equally hot-headed for having to wait so long for any action.”

“However,” Mercedes chimed in, “Brek and Jain appear to have quite the opposite attitude. Brek looks to be very calm and collected for his fight.”

“And Jain has yawned at least five times since preparations for her drinking contest had begun,” Woodsmann announced. “I sincerely hope she doesn’t pass out before things get interesting.”

*          *

Playlist 48 reluctantly entered the bar with a desire to watch the drinking contest, “Over here, my mechanical friend,” gestured the Barkeep.

“I was under the impression droids and robotics were not allowed in the Meadhall,” Playlist 48 questioned.

“New King,” the Barkeep replied with a smile. “New rules, so what can I get for you? We have a large selection of oils and lubricants fresh off the shipment.”

As the rounds began, and both the Meadhall and Arena stands filled with cheers Edward heard none of it. He sat at the end of the Meadhall’s open bar upon its farthest seat staring into his still full first pint of mead. “The Barkeep tells me you’ve been sitting here since last night and haven’t even taken a single sip yet,” Zesrial sat down next to him and asked the barkeep for a glass of red wine.

“Anything particular, Mi’lady?” the Barkeep asked with a genuine smile. It was clear he loved his job and enjoyed any company who might sit upon his stools. Perhaps some communion wine,” he jested.

“Whatever is most popular around here, please,” Zesrial replied, her focus still kept upon Edward. “I am sorry I did not tell you, I…”

“Don’t be,” Edward interrupted. “I have been informed of the reasons why, and you were only keeping a promise you made to my brother.” He swirled the fermented honey beverage in his mug. “I am not upset about it anymore. Tis a better fate than what she would have had to suffer.”

Zesrial put her hand over Edward’s mug and gently helped him set it down, “but you are upset about something.”

Edward looked at her smile and into her eyes, “I can never replace what you lost.” He looked back into his mug, but could not bring himself to drink from it.

“That is why you are moping?” Zesrial’s irritation with this conversation was clear by her tone.

“I am unworthy to be your God,” as Edward said the words he remembered where he had heard them before. It was the excuse most of the women he had fallen for had used to leave him in his first life.

“That is not your choice to make!” Zesrial snapped. “I gave you my throne because I love you and you took it. You have all the power he had and you have a responsibility to… Are you even listening to me? Edward!”

Zesrial’s voice tuned out, Edward had indeed become distracted. Someone was praying to him.

*          *

“We New Valhallian’s had been wondering what had become of our ancient and restless Gods and Goddesses of Fire as nearly all of them including Ra, Zhurong, Ney-Anki, Fuji, and Turgmam, to name a few had suddenly gone missing just last night,” Mercedes announced. “It has become clear now what unfortunate fate has befallen them.”

Broken, bruised, and burned from the very onesided fight, the Human man, Brek Chesler, slowly returned to his feet, “What have you done, Agni?”

“I have consumed all who you once followed. All who you once prayed to” Agni replied. “Their fires can no longer help you, for their fires are now mine.”

“Why?” Brek questioned in anguish. “They were your family, your kin.”

“They were weak!” Agni snapped. “Fire belongs to the Gods, not to mortals. With the Wyyvern Gauntlets of Fire, I shall purify this Multiverse and usher in a new era of eternal flames kindling immortal Gods.”

“Lord, give me your Fire,” Brek prayed.

“There are no Fire Gods left who will listen to your prayers,” Agni laughed. “This match is over my old annoyance. No one can save you this time.”

But Brek did not pray to any God of Fire, Lava, Magma, or Flame. “Lord give me your Fire, for I am merely a mortal man and cannot defeat a God. I need you, Lord. Please, give me your Fire.” Kicking Brek to the ground, Agni beat him while he was down laughing as he did.

“I’m not sure I can watch much longer,” Mercedes admitted. “Woodsmann, I trust your drinking contest is a little less onesided and much more entertaining.”

“Nope,” Woodsmann slammed a shot. “Mine is the opposite. Jain K. Heart and Dionysus have each consumed far more alcohol than I can handle and oddly enough it seems that Jain, has the upper hand.”

“I am,” Dionysus hiccupped, “the Ga-God of w-wine. How can you still not be dr-drunk when I can ha-hardly m-make words? This must be some ch-cheap trick.”

Jain downed yet another drink, shattering the empty glass on the ground with the rest. “I have spent my entire career drowning myself in every inebriating substance in the Multiverse,” Jain replied in a surprisingly coherent manner. “You’ve wasted your eternity drinking nothing but crushed fermented grapes.” She rolled her eyes, “and I am always drunk,” she slammed an entire barrel of wine and then belched in Dionysus’s face causing him to fall backward off his seat. “Lightweight.”

“There you have it,” Woodsmann announced. “Jain Karma Heart has defeated Dionysus and won back Wapatui, the Wyyvern shape-shifting Glass of Drink. I’m heading back to the announcers’ box now.”

“Drinks on me!” Jain shouted as she began pouring various liquids directly from Wapatui into any mug, glass, or cup that was brought to her. As she did Wapatui matched each beverage holder Jain poured the alcohol into with exact likeness.

The cheers from the Meadhall were still nonexistent to Edward as was Zesrial’s enraged shouting. “Pay attention!” Zesrial smacked Edward upside the head. When he still did not respond she turned to leave, but a monitor displaying Brek and Agni’s fight caught her eyes. She turned back to Edward and noticed he was watching the fight as well, his ear twitching every once in a while as though he were listening to something or someone. “He prays to you for help, because he cannot win. His Gods have been eliminated and Agni will take Pyre.”

“No,” Edward answered.

“No?” Zesrial questioned as she grabbed Edward by his shoulders and shook him, “what do you mean no. This fight is clearly unfair, he only prays for you to level the playing field, please. Brek is a good man who fights for his love, Pyre, and for the Multiverse as a whole. What do you mean no?”

Edward could only hear Brek’s prayers. “Your belief is wasted on me if you do not believe in yourself,” Edward replied to Brek. “You cannot defeat him, you have no chance. However, this should not stop you from standing up for what you know is right. So stand. Try anyway knowing you will fail, for Life will teach you nothing if you never fail in it. Stand and show me your Willpower. Stand and show me your resolve. Stand and show me your Fire and I shall grant you mine.”

*          *

Woodsmann entered the announcers’ box, “What I miss? I take it Agni won the round.”

“No,” Mercedes replied with surprise in his voice.

Agni found himself unable to move his fist which he had just launched at Brek’s face. Crying out in pain Brek, having caught the ultimate Fire God’s fist, twisted Agni’s arm out of his way and with all his strength punched Agni causing him to rear back and let Brek go. Pushing off his knee to lift himself up, Brek was covered in third-degree burns and his very flesh boiled and melted from his body. He clenched his fists and rushed Agni, who attempted to backhand him away. Brek dodged and landed a blow to Agni’s side, then his gut followed through with an uppercut and jabbed his throat. Agni reared back again rubbing his throat as he regained his breath. “Foolish mortal!” Agni, enraged, rushed Brek who continued to dodge and weave as he struck Agni in strategic locations again and again as hard as he could. However, every blow Brek landed burned him and broke his bones, weakening him. Agni shook off Brek’s assault and burned both Brek’s arms to ash. He melted his hand through Brek’s chest and held him in the air by his sternum. “This could have been far less painful for you.”

“Iron!” Brek shouted as he reared his head back for the legendary attack and Edward’s ear twitched. “Ram!” Agni flew back into the wall at the opposite end of the arena covering his eyes. Bright teal fire blazed in a supernova as Edward’s Fire regenerated  Brek’s flesh and bones making him whole again.

“Holy shit!” Woodsmann shouted.

“You cheat!” Agni accused.

“The Fire granted to Brek is equal to Agni’s,” announced Loki, Wyyvern Knight of Law Order and Vampirism, and King of New Valhalla. “No rules have been broken. The playing field has simply been leveled. Continue your round.” The audience cheered and chanted Brek Chesler’s name.

“There you have it, folks!” Woodsmann shouted excitedly. “This fight has only just begun.”

“With a look of fatherly disappointment Brek stares down Agni as he waits for the Fire God to make the first move,” Mercedes announced. Agni broke himself free from the wall he had landed in then cracked his knuckles and neck before starting towards Brek.

*          *

“Yes!” Zesrial shouted with excitement as she squeezed Edward tight with a hug.

“Alright,” Edward finally agreed, “but this is how I will do things.” He downed his mug of mead, finally gesturing for another.

“I have no problem with that,” Zesrial clanked her wine glass to Edward’s mead mug and the two watched the fight play out as it dragged on with no clear victor. “They seem to be evenly matched.”

“A good fight,” Edward nodded in approval.

“I’ll toast to that,” said a familiar voice.

Edward turned, “Devil.”

“God,” Satan taunted in reply.

“What do you want?” Zesrial questioned.

“To make a friendly wager, Underrealm,” Satan replied. “Now quiet, the deities are talking.”

“I will be making no wagers with you today,” Edward growled.

“Oh, I think you will,” Satan replied.

“There is nothing you have that I want,” Edward rebuked.

“First allow me to explain the rules of my wager,” Satan requested. “Then we can decide.” Edward ignored him. “I have granted Agni my Fire as you have granted Brek yours,” said Satan and Edward turned to him in his wrath. “Winner gets Brek’s soul.”   

“Brek’s soul is already mine,” Edward rebutted. “He has willingly given it to me. No deal.”

“How about, if you win you get Sarah Iron’s soul,” Satan suggested.

“She is my Warpriestess,” Edward replied. “She is already…”

“She is a Warpriestess of Hell,” Satan interrupted. “As the Wyyvern Knight of Hell, this makes her mine,” Edward growled at him. “Temper temper, I can take her to Hell at my leisure you know,” Satan warned and Edward backed down. “If Brek wins you keep his soul and gain Sarah’s. If Agni wins I keep Sarah’s souls and gain Brek’s.”

Edward thought for a moment, slammed his pint of Mead, and gestured for the Barkeep to, “bring me the barrel. You’re on, Devil, but we do this one drunk.”

“Hahahaha!” Satan laughed, “Alright.” The two clanked mugs and slammed their first drinks to solidify the wager.

*          *

“Folks we have confirmed that Agni is now wielding Devil’sfire against Brek’s God’sfire,” Mercedes announced.

Matching each other blow for blow Brek fought with the spirit of a Fennec Fox of the Northlands as Agni fought with the Devil in him. Both became inebriated as Edward and Satan drowned themselves in mead. However, as the fight progressed Brek became more coordinated while Agni became less so.

“I’m confused, Bernard,” Woodsmann admitted. “It’s as though Agni has been drugged and Brek’s senses have been dialed to eleven.”

“Indeed,” Mercedes had noticed this as well. “It would appear there is more going on here.”

*           *

“What trickery is this?” Satan questioned.

“No trickery,” Edward replied laughing heartily.

Zesrial was laughing too, “You agreed to fight him drunk.”

“I do not understand,” Satan admitted.

“Living in the tundra of the northernmost corner of our cube of a world,” Edward explained.  “We Fennec Foxes of the Northlands had long nights to contend with. When we were not sleeping we revelled in our great meadhalls. As we loved to fight it was only natural that our national pass time became drunk brawling. After tens of thousands of years with this tradition, we eventually adapted to become more coordinated the more inebriated we became. This is why we never went to war drunk, we considered it an unfair advantage given how it enhanced our senses and intelligence.”

“What does this have to do with Brek?” Satan questioned. “He is Human.”

“True,” Edward agreed. “However, in order to grant him my Fire, I had to give him the Spirit of a Fennec Fox of the Northlands.” Edward smiled as he picked up a fresh barrel and drank it dry. “Oh, what’s the matter, Devil,” Edward taunted. “Did I outwit you?”

“Sarah’s soul is yours, but you will pay for that,” replied Satan as he returned to Hell.

Edward smiled, “come on back, Devil, if you ever want to try again. There is nothing that can defeat a Fennec of the Northlands in wits or battle when he is drunk.”

*          *

“I do not believe it,” Mercedes announced. “This fight went from Agni with the advantage to evenly matched to Brek with the advantage. What happened?”

“I’m being told,” Woodsmann replied, “that apparently the Devil tried to trick Edward into wagering Brek’s soul only to have Edward trick him into a drunken brawl.”

“Doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me,” Mercedes replied, “but Brek Chesler has sent Agni to the Meadhall and won back Pyre, the Wyyvern Gauntlets of Fire.” The crowds cheered as Brek bowed to thank Edward in prayer.