Written By: Epicstu Wyyvernwriter

Awakening before a hearth inside a great hall Akiri Gen picked Helga, the Wyyvern BFG of Mechanics, up with the mechanical arm attached to her backpack. “Where are we?” she asked Helga as she secured her to the harness that focused her hefty weight on the mech legs she wore.

“The doorway is open,” Helga replied in her thickly accented, robust, and motherly voice. “Let us go and see.”

Akiri walked through a large open doorway out into the bright morning suns. She was in New Valhalla’s arena inside a great stone fortress high atop mountains capped with snow. Then she noticed “Edward!” she ran toward the burning Fennec Fox of the Northlands as he cried out in pain down on his knees.

A strong rugged hand pulled her back, “don’t touch him, girl!” Leonidas scolded before taking a calmer tone of voice. “He is reverting to his Hell state. Get Back! Everyone behind me!” he instructed the others around him as he braced himself and held up his Heavenforged shield. The Hellfire replacing Edward’s fur burned ever hotter and ever darker until it pillared into the air knocking Leonidas, Akiri, Trace, and Snow to the ground. Leonidas was the first to return to his feet, “Edward?” his Heavenforged blade at the ready, he moved toward the heavily breathing Fennec with caution.

His back turned to them, Edward slowly rose to his feet with a moaning grunt. “Do not be afraid,” he then turned to them and said. His teal eyes shown bright, “though I am Hell, I am in control,” he reassured them with a smile. Then Snow stepped forward and held Zesrial, who was in her Wyyvern blade form, up to him as she bowed her head in fear. “What did I just say?” Hell said unto her softly as he took the Wyyvern blade, Heaven, in his right paw-like hand. “You are Heaven’s and therefore have nothing to fear from me.” Then he looked up toward the New Valhallian King’s throne. He could not see the audience.

*          *

Within an oasis at the edge of a barren desert Anubis, Set, Oya, Ares, and Bellona found themselves waist deep in water continuously refreshed by the falls behind them. Ahead of them were three paths; one heading northeast, another to the northwest, and a bridge in the center between them. Pulling up Magnus’s scope Oya looked down the bridge, “the Knights hold a position on the other side, but I do not have a clear shot. There are strange structures in my way and an energy field surrounds the fortress they stand in.”

“Reveal the battlefield to the audience!” Loki’s voice carried across the arena and a shield covering the stands vanished as cheers flooded the air.

“Good morning New Valhalla!” Woodsmann shouted enthusiastically. “By switchblade, do we have a paragon of an event for you today. Dota you agree, Bernard?”

Mercedes put his palm to his face, “Are you really doing this today, Woods?”

“Smite me,” Woodsmann replied with a big goofy smile.

“Wonderful,” Mercedes sighed. “Yes folks, we do have one hell of a classic event for you on this fine New Valhallian day. On a flat planet split by opposing biomes, two teams of six will fight for supremacy. We have a lot to cover before the round can begin, so let’s get started, Woods.”

“To the North,” Woodsmann began, “is a vast range of uncountable mountains capped with snow and peaking the clouds above as they lead to the Knights’ stone Fortress.”

“To the South,” Mercedes chimed in, “is a seemingly endless barren desert leading to the Gods’ flourishing Oasis. Three Lanes bypass these biomes allowing for easy travel. One circling around to the east, another to the west, and a third running straight down the middle.”

“In each of these Lanes stand several of what will be referred to as Towers,” Woodsmann explained. “Sixteen in total, six hold each of the side Lanes and four hold the central bridge. These Towers are owned and must be defended by the team whose side they stand upon.”

“Right you are, Woods,” said Mercedes. “The goal is to destroy the opposing team’s Towers, push your way across the Lanes, and enter the Breachpoint inside the opposing team’s base. There you must defeat that bases Guardian in order to win.”

“Careful though,” Woodsmann announced. “The opposing team is not all you have to worry about. Aside from the Towers doubling as turrets that deal massive damage, each team will also have an army to help them push the Lanes.”

“Indeed this will require strategy, cunning, and teamwork,” stated Mercedes.

“It’s a Massive Live Battle Arena!” Woodsmann announced. “Let’s introduce the league of legends who will be battling for supremacy in this arena of valor and fate.”

Mercedes raised an eyebrow at his co-announcer, “Yes… Let’s… but first I will explain what we have done to them. Each team’s five main players have been limited in power and potential in order to balance the round. Four feats have been granted to each of them based on their individual wills and skills. A basic attack combo, two main abilities, and an ultimate attack.”

“Each player,” Woodsmann continued on, “has also been given a heads-up-display showing their individual healthbars as well as that of their teammates and any enemy players within line of site. This HUD also comes complete with a mini map showing the locations of their teammates, all Towers, and both bases.”

“Radios have also been given to each player for communication with their entire team,” Mercedes added, “allowing for enhanced strategic gameplay. Now to go over each individual combatant and the feats we have allowed them for the round. Woods, would you care to start us off?”

“Bernard, it would be my genuine pleasure to start off our introduction to the heroes who will be storming in for the defense of this ancient game mode,” Woodsmann replied.

“Now you’re just trying too hard,” Mercedes commented.

“In the far south, at the edge of the barren desert Biome, the following Gods will respawn in the Falls that water their Oasis,” Woodsmann began. “Anubis, the Wyyvern God of Death and of Life. With his Wyyvern Scythes, Chastity of Death and Addhar of Life, he is the ultimate assassin and the ultimate healer rolled into one. Every basic attack he performs with Chastity deals deadly damage while basic attacks performed with Addhar will heavily heal anyone hit. This works on both allies and enemies.”

“It is important to note that friendly fire is a thing and all attacks can be blocked, dodged, and countered,” Mercedes interrupted.    

“Anubis’s first main ability,” Woodsmann continued, “powers up Chastity for an instant kill on the next attack performed with her as well as doubles her already decent range. Hit or miss, after each use the move will go into a cooldown state and Anubis will have to wait one hundred twenty seconds to use the ability again. His second ability is not surprisingly the opposite. Addhar powers up, doubling in range for an instant full heal on the next attack performed with him. Hitting or missing will send this ability into a sixty-second cooldown. Neither of these abilities can be blocked. Only dodged.” Woodsmann cleared his throat, “This is overpowered,” he muttered. Then he announced, “Anubis’s ultimate will resurrect all currently respawning teammates to his location and for each teammate resurrected a random enemy player will die. This has no cooldown? Well, I guess it only works if someone on his team is respawning. Bernard, care to continue?”

“Set, the Wyyvern God of Famine is next on our roster of Gods,” Mercedes announced. “He wields Hubris, the chain-linked Wyyvern Incense Burners of Famine, who will deal no damage from basic attacks. He will instead apply a damage-over-time effect that gets stronger and more deadly with each successful lashing strike. This DOT effect will also increase the damage dealt to those affected from all sources. Set’s first ability sends out a plague of locusts that seek out any and all inflicted by his basic attack’s DOT effect. Targets will have their HUDs disabled, their radios deactivated and will be unable to use abilities or ultimates during the thirty-second duration. Cooldown is one hundred seconds.”

“Classic,” Woodsmann commented.

“Sets secondary ability, for a duration of seventy seconds, puts all enemy locations on all of his allies’ HUD maps and increases all allies’ individual movement speeds,” Mercedes continued. “Also for the duration, all allied basic attacks inflict Set’s DOT effect. Cooldown is ninety seconds. Finally, this support’s ultimate, for a cooldown of one hundred eighty seconds, summons three giant creatures of the desert to fight for his team. A serpent, a scorpion, and a beetle. For them to be removed they must be destroyed and the cooldown begins immediately upon activation so the Knights will need to remove them quickly or risk an army of giant desert monsters.”

“I have to say,” Woodsmann admitted, “I was skeptical of his potential in this event at first, but that payoff though. Next up on our roster! Ares, the Wyyvern God of Righteous War! He carries the incredibly heavy Sun, the Wyyvern Chainsaw Sword of Righteous War who is slow to wield and easily dodgeable, but who’s damage on successful hit rivals that of even Chastity’s basic attacks. Also blocked basic attacks with Sun deal reduced damage to the blocker. The raw power,” Woodsmann chuckled and then continued. “Ares puts his foot down for his first ability creating an earthquake that deals no damage but is guaranteed to knockback any caught in its wake. Cooldown is seven seconds, wow… I foresee spamming. Moving on to his secondary ability, Ares summons a shield of holy light to absorb and send a single attack back at the attacker. This works on everything from basics to ultimates and has a cooldown thirty seconds. None of these abilities hold a candle to his ultimate as Sun revs her chainsaw blades becoming a massive seven miles long to slam down and destroy to all enemies and structures she falls upon. Cooldown is seven whole minutes… Worth the wait I’d say considering the attack destroys Towers in one hit from full health.”

“The distance between each Tower is exactly seven miles so I would have to agree,” said Mercedes. “Of course, where there is righteousness there must also be wickedness. Bellona, the Wyyvern Goddess of Wicked War, wields Tzu, the Wyyvern Chainsaw Sword of Wicked War. With fast difficult to avoid basic attacks that deal moderate damage, blocked or not. She is going to be very difficult to take on. Her first ability adds to this fact by granting her health equal to the damage she deals as well as tripling Tzu’s length. The effect ends immediately after a missed attack or if seven seconds have gone by since she last hit an enemy or structure. There is no cooldown. Her second ability, for a cooldown of one hundred twenty seconds, is a warcry that causes all enemies inside whatever lane she’s in to deal decreased damage and take increased damage from all sources for thirty seconds. Bellona’s ultimate is exactly the same as Ares’s. Tzu revs becoming seven miles long and slams down for destructive damage with a cooldown of seven minutes.”

“War…” Woodsmann announced. “War never changes. Apart from weaponry that is. Oya, the Wyyvern Goddess of Strife, explodes into the battle with Magnus, the Wyyvern Artillery of Strife. Her basic attack is a slow firing single shot rifle with no limit on range. The Knights will want to note that Towers can be used for cover as headshots with this basic attack are an instant kill. Don’t worry though, she will be unable to aim across Biomes into other Lanes. Oya’s first ability calls down a heavy payload from above on a targeted area with impressive splash damage in a wide radius. Kaboomboom, baby. Cooldown is one hundred twenty seconds and the attack is capable of damaging Towers. Her Secondary ability transforms Magnus into one of three vehicles; a gunship that can fly over Biomes, a tank with a very large healthbar, or stationary railgun turret. The chosen vehicle lasts until destroyed and Oya is unable to use any other abilities while the vehicle is active. The sixty-second cooldown begins immediately after the destruction of the vehicle. I can see some disadvantages to this if miss used. Oya’s ultimate is a nuclear warhead that kills all allies and enemies but does no damage to structures. Now that’s what I call a gamble. There is no cooldown, but it can only be used once per life. Wait, what?”

“Moving on,” Mercedes interrupted. “The following combatants fight to win back the Horsemen stolen by the Gods we just mentioned and will be respawning at the Hearth that warms their Fortress. Starting at the top of our roster is Heaven wielding Hell, Hell wielding Heaven, the Wyyvern Knights of Deceit.”

“Wait, that’s cheap,” Woodsmann argued. “Two players in one?”

“True,” Mercedes admitted. “The Wyyvern Knights of Deceit are two Knights, but they are also two weapons and only one of them can be in Knight form at any given time. Basically, if Heaven is the Wyyvern Knight of Deceit then Hell is her Wyyvern Shieldwall of Deceit and if Hell is the Wyyvern Knight of Deceit then Heaven is his Wyyvern Blade of Deceit.”

“Confused,” replied Woodsmann, “but go on.”

“However,” Mercedes went on, “Heaven wielding Hell will have a completely different set of feats then Hell wielding Heaven and they do not share cooldowns. They may switch between each other instantly and at will.”

“So they’re a tag team?” Woodsman raised an eyebrow. “I’m not sure how fair this is.”

“Starting with Hell wielding Heaven,” Mercedes continued. “Ladies and gentlemen, we finally get to see the infamous Wall in action!” Then he coughed, “though it’s been restricted for balancing purposes.” He continued, “Hell swings Heaven progressively faster the longer he performs the Wall increasing its damage gradually. The Wall auto blocks all attacks even countering melee attackers with an IronRam dealing damage equal to what would have been dealt to him. However, we have made it so the Wall forces Hell to be rooted meaning he can gain no ground while using it keeping the basic attack mainly defensive. Hell’s first ability, however, is very aggressive. Able to smell the very sins of his opponents, Hell will leap to the enemy player who has dealt the most damage since the start of the game. On impact damage equal to the damage dealt by the transgressor will be dealt to all within the blast radius. The initially targeted player has their damage counter reset, so it is likely Hell will go through everyone on the enemy team before anyone is hit a second time by this attack. This also means the move becomes more useless the more it is used which is why the cooldown is only thirteen seconds. Hell’s secondary ability adds a ranged slash of damned souls to his Wall, allowing him to be aggressive with the basic attack hitting enemies at decent range. This lasts as long as he wants it to but completely removes the Walls auto blocks and counters while still rooting him. Finally, Hell’s ultimate transforms the map into a hellscape that instantly kills the opposing team’s army of minions and prevents minions from respawning. For its duration of sixty seconds, all enemy players have their movement speed reduced, deal less damage, and take more damage. Woods, would you like to read off his better half for our audience?”

Woodsmann laughed, “you guys thought Hell was overpowered. Heaven wields Hell in the form of a Shieldwall and a mace with six-inch curved spikes. Her basic attack combo pulls enemies in and bashes them away then rinses and repeats all while moving forward at a scary pace. Great for pushing the lane, every shield bash counts as an autoblock. Also, her feet never touch the ground on account of her wings, so just let that soak in for a moment. Her first ability is much like Hell’s except Heaven rides her lightning to an ally and temporarily stuns and roots all nearby enemies. Cooldown is twenty-four seconds. Her secondary ability allows her to spread her wings and defend a single lane from an otherwise unblockable attack. Cooldown is sixty seconds. For her ultimate, she weeps covering the map in a heavy rainstorm that strikes enemy Towers with lightning deactivating them until the storm ends. For its duration of sixty seconds, all allies are granted increased movement speed, deal more damage, and take less damage from all sources. I see the combo,” Woodsmann commented.

“Next on our roster for the Knights,” Mercedes moved on. “Trace, the Wyyvern Knight of Madness, wields Q, the Wyyvern Handgun of Madness, with aimbot accuracy. His basic attack never misses its mark allowing the Mad Wyyvern to deal continuous consistent damage to a single target or chip away at many. Also, his bullets talk, so this should be entertainingly interesting. Trace’s first ability allows him to create a memory of himself doing something he recently did in the location he did it in. This allows him to continue dealing damage in a situation he had to run from or create a distraction. The effect lasts as long as the chosen memory had and has a ten-second cooldown. Traces secondary ability creates a limitlessly expanding aura of Madness around himself that cause enemies caught inside to forget how to do anything at all. Lasts ten seconds and every army minion or player killed while active extends its duration by three seconds. Cooldown is sixty seconds. His ultimate allows him to counter an ability or ultimate used by anyone anywhere and copy it to be used by him at his leisure as a form of ammunition for Q. The cooldown is a mere twenty-one seconds and he can stack stolen abilities infinitely for individual or combined usage.”

“That is insane,” Woodsmann remarked.

“That’s the Mad Wyyvern,” Mercedes replied.

“Next up we have the legendary Leonidas, Heaven’s newest Warpriest,” Woodsmann announced. “Much like Heaven’s basic without the pull, Leonidas slashes for damage and then shield bashes for an autoblock. His first ability is a classic ‘this is Sparta!’ kick that leaves the target stunned until hit again by any source. This can can be spammed as it has no cooldown. For his secondary attack, Leonidas throws an indestructible Heavenforged spear that roots its target and must be recovered before it can be thrown again. No one aside from Leonidas can lift this spear and he can call it back to himself at any time. For his ultimate, he summons all 300 of his personal guard to a phalanx formation that moves forward slowly. This lasts until nothing has been blocked by it for three hundred seconds, blocks everything including unblockables, and has a cooldown of three hundred seconds. So the only way to stop it is to back away and just let it happen for three hundred seconds.

“I am so glad Woods is not announcing this one,” Mercedes muttered under his breath before announcing, “Snow, the succubus Warpriestess of Heaven, wields Heaven’s lightning as well as her natural allure.” He glared at his co-announcer.

“What, you think because she’s a succubus I will automatically say something sexual about her,” Woodsmann cocked his eyebrow at his co-announcer. “How racist do you think I am?”

Mercedes returned his attention to the audience, “Continuous streams of lighting can be fired from her talon-like hands that chain to nearby enemies both damaging and slowing them.”

“That’s her basic?” Woodsmann questioned excitedly. “She is stunning.”

“Mmhmm…” Mercedes wasn’t sure if he should be mad at that one. “Snow’s first ability is a bolt of Heaven’s lightning called down from the sky that heavily damages and roots all in its wake. Cooldown is sixty seconds. Her secondary ability allows her to force an enemy player to fight by her side until they die and upon death, the affected player will explode for massive splash damage. Cooldown is one hundred twenty seconds but begins immediately after activation so playing her cards right could land her the entire team. Finally her ultimate allows her to fully heal and resurrect all allies instantly. Cooldown is one ninety-nine seconds.”

“Is now my new favorite player in this event,” Woodsmann announced. “Moving on Akiri Gen, the Wyyvern Knight of Mechanics, uses Helga, the Wyyvern BFG of Mechanics, like a minigun for her basic attack. A ridiculously fast rate of fire for suppression, a slow but steady forward movement for ground cover and a riot shield that covers only her head from all oncoming ranged attacks so long as she holds the trigger down. I think we have a mid-laner. She can also mount Helga via tripod for added stability. Her first main ability is a bubble shield that defends a large area until destroyed, blinds enemies who enter and has a cooldown of thirty seconds. Her secondary ability is a literal rocket jump as she aims Helga at the ground and fires a blast to propel herself in any direction. This can be used to close gaps or make quick getaways and has no cooldown. Her ultimate is a concentrated beam of pure energy that can destroy a single target player or Tower and has a cooldown of one hundred eighty seconds.”

“Which brings our roster to an end,” Mercedes announced.

“Wait, I thought there were six players per team,” Woodsmann pointed out. “We only mentioned five for each team.”

“The extra two players are the Biomers,” Mercedes replied. “They will show up mid-match and have no limitations, so there is nothing to announce on their regard.”

“Biomers?” Woodsmann questioned. “Like Junglers?”

“There is no Jungle. Just Biomes,” Mercedes replied. “So we call them Biomers.”

“What do you mean they have no limitations?” Woodsmann asked.

“Remember, players, the goal is to enter the opposing teams Breachpoint,” Mercedes completely ignored Woodsmann’s inquiry. “You must all be there to enter and once inside all your limitations will be removed allowing you to access your full potential. Dying beyond the Breachpoint will remove you from existence and send your Wyyvern weapon if you have one to the Meadhall, but defeating the Guardian within will win you the game. Good luck players! For the right to be a Knight, the round begins now!”